There is this great idea sweeping the nation. The reason the idea is so great is because… well… we’re all unhealthy. The idea? Oh, weight loss of course!
It is a great idea. If you can do something to work toward being healthier more power to you! Just don’t get stuck on the idea of looking like a movie star you see on TV, or a model, or someone you’ve seen in a magazine.
If you are plus size now, don’t disillusion yourself. Weight loss will not solve all of your problems. That is the biggest lie we’ve been sold. Working to be healthy is smart. Deciding to lose weight because, ‘it will solve everything!’, is a mistake to many make. It is usually what causes a person to gain back all the weight they lose.
Let me put it to you this way. I started a weight loss journey five months ago. It has been an eye opening journey. I started it out of frustration. I was tired. Tired of being uncomfortable in my own skin; tired of worrying about a dozen things every time I went somewhere. I worried about whether chairs would break if I sat on them. I worried about being around people, and walking through crowds. I worried about what people thought if I ate something in public. I could see the thoughts, and I was tired….
Being ‘plus size’ is exhausting! The looks, the stares, the comments, the comments when people think you are not within hearing range… you can learn to live with those. You even feel sorry for the people giving you the looks and making the comments. They live a sheltered life. They have been ‘protected’ from being larger. They have not had to experience the embarrassment, or true, deep, unending, disappointment.
There is only one way to fight anything that makes you uncomfortable – knowledge. So, after trying diets, fad diets, different doctors and their not so brilliant answers. I finally did what I should have done. I went for the science. I found a doctor who didn’t just shove pills at you, or hand you off to a dietician. She introduced me to the science behind weight gain. The science behind why so many of us are losing the battle of the bulge.
Our own bodies are our worst enemies. They are built to store fat. That is what their sole purpose is at times. When we lived in caves and food was scarce. Our bodies stored everything it could so we could survive. Now, with an abundance of food, it is still storing.
Don’t get me wrong. What we eat matters. Eating McDonald’s every night is not going to cause weight loss. Although those warm, golden fries are hard to resist! We have to learn a tasty but healthy alternative. As with most things, WE, is the keyword. We have to make a choice. And it won’t be an easy one.
I made that choice 5 months ago. I’m glad I did. I’m glad I know the science behind it. It is what my mind needed to change. The thing is though…
They show these weight loss shows on TV where people drop hundreds of pounds in a year, or less. The people on these shows are always smiling, happy; life is perfect, after the weight loss. They don’t show reality though. This is what I have been learning through my journey.
In the beginning it was easy. Nothing really changed. Drop twenty pounds; go down a pant size, no big deal. When you start dropping 40-50 pounds things change. The shoes you use to wear are now too large. You have to invest in a new wardrobe. Your face changes. Your body changes. Suddenly your skin is saggy. Along with all of your under garments. Let me tell you, that is not pleasant on either level.
Those fantastic weight loss shows don’t show how your daily showering routine changes. You’re suddenly using cotton balls and rubbing alcohol to clean the places the excess skin hangs. If that isn’t a sexy, appealing image for the fairy tale ending!
Your body has to relearn how to walk and move skinny. After years of being plus size, your body has adjusted to the extra weight. The same is true once you lose it. Your mind also has to adjust. You can suddenly fit into places you couldn’t before…and you have to remember this!
People also start looking at you differently, and treating you differently. Granted, this may have something to do with your growing confidence. I use to scoff at the idea that people treated you differently because of your size. It was finally driven home recently. I’m still having a hard time coming to terms with it. There is a big part of me that is angry at the injustice of it. Then…
I caught myself doing it. Walking to the break room at work – I noticed a plus size person filling a plate of food to the top. Before I could stop myself, the thought of, “Should they really be eating all of that?,” flew through my mind. I stopped midstride, and felt like a complete, and total as..terisk! It was as if everything I’ve been through didn’t matter. I was one of THOSE people. The judgmental, bullying, type of people who drive me nuts!
Through this journey I’ve learned many things about myself. I’ve learned I’m an emotional eater. No surprise there! What did surprise me though is I turn to food more when I’m sad than any other time. I also turn to it when I’m in pain. I’ve had to find new ways to handle those emotions. I’m still working on it, but at least now I know my triggers.
I’ve also learned I hate clothes shopping. I don’t care about fashion. I truly am a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal. My closet will never be filled with the latest and greatest fashion trends. I will always be years out of style. I’m okay with the basic black dress for the rare occasions that I wear one. I’m okay with a dressy shirt and comfortable dress pants when I need to dress business casual. Just don’t expect me to be fashion conscious. Clothes really are just another way we can judge people.
So, what have I really learned though it all? Hhhmmm… Well. No matter what we change on the outside. No matter how bad we may want the fairytale. The beauty, prince charming, the perfect body, the world! We’re always going to have the grandest thing of all – our individuality! We will always be uniquely ourselves. Our body will always be ours – not perfect, not always comfortable, not always what we picture, but ours. Beatifully, and uniquely ours. Once we realize that…the world is ours.
So…for today I wish your realizations that change your heart and your mind. Beauty that is solely yours, and a life created around your inspiration. Today is just a moment. Yesterday is just a second. Tomorrow is everything your make of it. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the best tomorrow ever!
Goodnight my friends!